the idea of inducing labour was a bit of a funny one for me. i was so radically against the idea of getting a medical induction at the hospital, that i took it into my own desperate hands to induce myself “naturally”. my hospital induction was booked in for my due date, and i had eight days to get that baby out of me. if you’d like to know how i did it, watch the handy video i uploaded on youtube. if you’d like to know why i will probably just let fate take it’s natural course next time, continue reading!

i mean to start with, the entire thing was a total ballache. there was one day where i literally sat for 3 hours straight, bouncing on my exercise ball (that fucking exercise ball. that was the first thing in the bin after the birth) and rubbing my nipples. my poor, poor nipples did not deserve that, they have only ever been good to me. inducing labour naturally is no easy feat. you have to be dedicated and prioritise it above everything else, which is fine because women who are fourty weeks pregnant don’t tend to have much going on anyway, but wouldn’t you rather be kicking about enjoying your last few lie ins instead of strawpedoing raspberry leaf tea and sticking primrose oil up your coochie?

interfering with something as natural as labour kinda goes against everything i believe in anyway. i know, i know, when you get to that stage in the pregnancy your baby is fully cooked and it’ll do them no harm, but i feel as though the labour would go a lot more smoothly if you just let your body go with it’s original plan instead of scheduling in a whole load of new shit. your body is busy! it doesn’t have time to check it’s diary this week! 


so, on to my personal, biggest reason for not wanting to induce labour next time – it’s the entire reason my whole birth went to absolute shit. i had a terrible birth. i know it’s probably not a walk in the park for most, but it’s frustrating to me that it was self-inflicted and if i hadn’t been so impatient i could have potentially had the dreamy water birth i’d planned. in my defence, i was mostly in a rush to get him out as the doctors were telling me he was going to be around 10lbs and i’ll be damned if i let that boy grow any bigger before pushing him out of my favourite hole. 

 but as you all know, sex is the most crucial part of inducing labour at home. it’s the method with the most medical support, the highest success rate, and let’s be honest, the most fun. but little old me did it all wrong, and decided to ignore the advice i have been fed my whole life – always pee after sex. in fact, i did the opposite. it makes me cringe to even type this, but i just lay there post-sex, and let the sperm do it’s thing. i wanted the baby out of me! i didn’t care about the consequences!

i definitely cared two days later though, when i had contractions pulsing through my back, my hand connected to a drip, a fever, and an unborn baby with a dangerously high heart rate because my stupid ass had contracted a UTI. at my big age! 21 years old and i got a UTI because i didn’t listen to my mama and thought i knew best. 

anyway, moral of the story is always pee after sex. literally always. i don’t care if you’re pregnant, or there are no bathrooms around, or you’ve gotten sex-sleepy and just want to go to bed. PEE. always. also this was kind of click bait because you know full well in five years i will be downing pints of raspberry leaf tea with baby number two. thanks 4 reading! 


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