REVIEW: MAKE NO BONES @ TEMPLE OF FUN, SHEFFIELD

i chose to go to sheffield for my 22nd birthday celebrations, like you’re fucking surprised. that city has my absolute heart and i can’t wait to move there, and this weekend has only reinforced my love for it even more.
i tend to base most of my city break visits around food, as i’m sure you’ve noticed if you follow me on any kinda social media, so church – temple of fun, the new location of sheffield vegan faves make no bones was the top of my list. ALRIGHT i’m lying, the burger garden was at the top of my list because i’ve never tried it and it’s closing next week, but it’s shut on mondays so make no bones was next up.

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make no bones is now part of oli sykes’ new venture church – temple of fun, a huge beautiful venue which holds the vegan kitchen, an all vegan bar, a small tattoo studio, some arcade games, some free (FREE) photo booths, a 220 capacity gig venue and a small selection of his clothing brand, drop dead. i’m not going to lie, when i first heard about the idea for the venue i thought it sounded like too much going on at once, and wasn’t sure it would come to life in the best way. but it really did!

drop dead temple of fun

church temple of fun

it has such a chilled out, lovely vibe; you order your food and drinks at the bar, can go in the free photo booth while you wait, browse the drop dead range or play some arcade games or whatever. i am so frustrated i didn’t get a photo of the photo booths actually because they are designed to look like confessionals in churches which i thought was a really cool touch. there’s south american religious iconography everywhere, and it’s just really beautiful and chilled without being too much. 

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on to the food: the menu is still really bloody good. the guys & gals behind make no bones really know what they’re doing when it comes to making dirty vegan fast food that’s actually made of good ingredients and isn’t, perhaps, the worst thing in the world for your body. so we ordered the cajun shrimp starter, philly cheesesteak sub, tinsley tower burger, and chorreadas loaded fries.
and then went back the next day to order off the breakfast menu, where we got the grilled sourdough with mexican beef, guacamole, salsa, black beans etc, and the french toast with maple bacon, cheese and pickle. just a quick mention on the breakfast menu because i didn’t take any photos: it’s really great. the best breakfast i’ve had in sheffield. i love that it’s something different to your average fry-up or avocado on toast, and both of the very different options we went for were so full of flavour and really filling, and both cost £6 each. they only serve breakfast from 10am til noon but it’s so worth getting up for, do not regret cutting our lie in short in the slightest.

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anyway, back to the regular food menu. the starter was battered cajun shrimp with a ‘creole remoulade’, which kinda just tasted like fancy mayo. i used to love seafood when i was a kid so i get a bit giddy whenever i see options like this on vegan menus, which is actually pretty rare to be honest. to my delight, these tastes exactly like regular shrimp. if we’d been served this in a mixed omnivore/vegetarian restaurant, i would be 100% convinced that someone in the kitchen fucked up and would probably send it back.
i personally am into the whole fake meat thing but i know it can put a lot of people off so just be aware that this whole menu is super realistic meat substitutes. the only thing i was slightly disappointed about here is that for £4.75 we only got 5 shrimp, but equally if it was “real” shrimp it would usually be a pricier menu item anyway so can’t really complain! think we are just used to huge portions.

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from when we got to the restaurant i was constantly pestering danny to find out how we get our burger to arrive on a rainbow bagel, but because we are both so awkward and weird around service staff we didn’t ask any of them. luckily it arrived on one anyway! we got the chicken burger which came with a cheesy hash brown and sweet chilli sauce. i swear the hash brown wasn’t burnt i don’t know why it looks so black in the photos… it was delicious anyway. i kinda wanted a beef burger at first but i always dictate the menu decisions so i let danny choose the chicken one and i am so glad he did! i usually hate seitan chicken, yes even at temple of seitan, because it’s so spongey and ….wheat-y. i am such a talented food writer, really. i can’t explain what it is i don’t like about it, but the middle is always light brown instead of white like chicken? if you know, you know. but this one was perfect and had the same texture and slight pull that real chicken has. again, you might find that a bit gross but also, if you do maybe don’t go to a restaurant that sells meat alternatives innit. oh yeah also this burger completely fell apart immediately so we had to just rip bits off with our hands like animals, i know it’s a tower burger but it must have just been too big for our mouths (no innuendos please).

vegan rainbow burger.jpg

i didn’t mean for this review to go on for so long i’m sorry please bare with me i just really love this place and can’t seem to stop talking about it! so another choice of danny’s was the philly cheesesteak, something that has literally never appealed to me. i’ve never really liked red meat anyway, and the entire time i worked at subway i judged every single person who ordered the steak sub. but we have a terrible habit of having to share every single meal we eat so i went with it, and it was actually really good (surprise, surprise. damn you, make no bones). it’s got to be the ugliest, least instagrammable option on the menu but their cheese sauce is bangin and the bread was crispy & soft, so kudos for turning me into a philly cheesesteaker.

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due to a kitchen mix-up, our fries didn’t arrive until we had eaten all the rest of the food, but that was a good thing really because it was like a nice surprise once we thought we’d eaten everything! they came topped with cheese, onions, peppers, chilli, and pulled pork (all vegan obvs) (sorry i have to keep specifying because otherwise people on the internet shout at me!!). i fucking LOVE loaded fries. loaded with what you ask? anything edible, pretty much. danny always takes the piss out of how much i love chips, like honestly just bury me with them, and putting a load of other lovely ingredients on TOP of them is just the greatest invention of all time. these are up there in the top 5 best loaded fries i’ve ever eaten and i can assure you i’ve eaten a fucking lot.

vegan loaded fries.jpg

so i think i’m done! gosh. 1300 words in half an hour, if only i could write my uni essays this quickly and passionately. all i really have left to say is if you’re in sheffield go to this place, and if you aren’t in sheffield, get on a train to sheffield and then go to this place. the food alone is a good enough reason, but i genuinely think the venue is super cool and we will 100% be coming here at least once per sheff visit from now on. my only wish for the future is that they’ll grow their dessert menu. they currently only offer oreo & biscoff donuts, which are admittedly really nice but it would be cool to have a couple more options.

average price you’ll spend there: depends! our evening food came to £27 altogether, but breakfast came to £12 and was equally as filling and lovely, so sup to you really.

 

 

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