Yes, I’m going to be a self-indulgent prick and spend an entire post talking about what I’ve done this year. Let’s go!
First, I Survived The End Of The Pregnancy
Honestly, this is an achievement because if you’ve been pregnant you will know that the last trimester is hell on earth, and everything was pretty hit-or-miss for a minute there. I had multiple “I am genuinely not going to make it out of this alive” moments towards the end, but we did it lads! We had a baby! And by that I mean I did it; I’m not sharing this achievement with anyone. Sorry Danny.
Then I Pushed A Human Out Of My Vagina
Sorry, I kind of spoiled this one didn’t I? But yes, in February 2018, The Baby did indeed arrive, and he’s been knocking about ever since. There is now this whole-ass human being in my life, for the rest of my life, and it’s weird and scary and fairly cool. The concept, not the baby itself. The baby itself sucks.
Shortly After, I Decided To Try To Love Danny Forever
As in, he asked me to marry him and I said yes! It was on a park bench on April 13th (our 1 year anniversary), and there wasn’t a shadow of doubt in my mind that I wanted to look at that ridiculous face for as long as the universe would allow me to.
We Somehow Managed To Get To A Festival Or Two
We managed to hit up Slam Dunk and Download Festival, which were both very fun, especially as we’d had to miss out on quite a lot of gigs during the end of the pregnancy / start of newborn life. It’s weird how much I used to take constant live music for granted, but I definitely appreciate it more now – sweaty cider never tasted so good. I’m super grateful we got to at least a few festivals, but I’d love to go to even more in 2019 if possible!
Maternity Leave Forced Me To Start A Blog (And Start Making Bank Almost Instantly)
I started this bloody lovely blog at the end of June! I can’t believe it’s only been six or so months – I’ve enjoyed it loads so far, and even managed to get some sponsored posts on the go within just a months. I’m genuinely super proud that I’m able to earn some kind of pocket money doing something I love this much; I know we all pretend we aren’t in it for the money, but it would definitely be very cool to develop this whole thing a bit further and potentially turn it into some kind of job.
We Managed To Escape To Barcelona
Going on a baby-free holiday was incredible – I wrote about it more in-depth here, but it was super lovely to get to spend quality time in a beautiful place with Danny. I’ve got a few getaways planned for 2019 already; I’m thinking short and sweet weekend excursions rather than a full-blown holiday. It also gives the grandparents some time with Remy, so winners all round!
I Began Third Year Of University With A Baby In Tow
This was probably my biggest struggle of the year so far, and I haven’t even gone back fully yet! I start full time at the end of January and I’m honestly bloody dreading it, but I also know that if I manage to pass this year then it’ll probably be the biggest achievement of my life. I currently feel relatively negatively about the whole thing – it’s so hard, so much work, and so much guilt spending that much time away from my family. But hopefully in 2019 it’ll all be worth it!
We Celebrated Our First Family Christmas
And it was amazing! I was pretty ill all week which put a slightly negative spin on things, but in general it was so surreal experiencing Christmas with my own little family. I’m sure it’ll only get more magical and lovely as Remy gets older, as he’ll be more invested in it too. I cannot wait for next year already! We had a lot of fun trying to make it special for him this year but obviously he’s so tiny he has no idea yet, so bring on little toddler Remy next Christmas. Yes we will be dressing him as a pudding again.
And On The Very Last Day Of The Year, I Was Prescribed Anti-Depressants
Unrelated photo of this pair of idiots because they’re the reason I want to get better. I haven’t discussed my recent mental health troubles on my blog, or in fact anywhere online just yet. I’m still trying to understand my own head before I project that into the world, but essentially, I have just had a very positive doctors appointment and I’m grateful that this is how the year ended. I’ve referred myself for counselling/therapy/whatever you want to call it, I’m taking Citalopram, and I’m seeking out some support via university too.
So that’s a wrap! It was actually really nice to write this post and reflect on how constructive and interesting this year has actually been. It’s very easy to get lost in the idea that maternity leave is unproductive and slow and boring, and I know a lot of new mums can feel that they’re falling behind on life a bit – I definitely have. Looking back at my year a bit more in-depth has made me realise that there is so much I have done and achieved; and not just that, but even the ‘slow’ days have been fun and silly and lovely with Danny and Remy. Feel like I need a constant reminder that it’s okay to chill out and relax every so often too!
I’m honestly so excited about what 2019 has to bring – the first half is going to be super intense and hard work with university, but I think it’s going to be a really incredible summer and just generally A Pretty Big Year.
Remy turns 1, I’m (hopefully) graduating, and we’re moving to Sheffield! It’s all very exciting.
Thanks for all the support on the blog / social media this year, it definitely doesn’t go unnoticed and I appreciate everyone who takes a second to read my ramblings.